Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Mother of the Year

Many years and several babies ago I gained a sister.  I never had a sister growing up so when I married Michael I was so excited to have gained Lauren in the process.....  Man did I luck out.  We speak almost daily and have since our oldest were babies.  She is probably one of the most genuine people I have ever known in my life and we have raised our babies together.  I always remember feeling so comfortable to tell her anything.  She was never judgmental....always had this sense of peace no matter what I shared with her.  Don't get me wrong....she challenged me on things and we had some great debates over the years.  We have laughed and we have cried and we have shared.....shared everything.

One of my favorite things we shared was a phrase called "Mother of the Year"  This may not be what you think it is....It is the "truth" of motherhood.  It is those days when you know you overreacted to something that your children did....the day when you lose your cool....the day when God must step in and cover you in his grace....I have found that motherhood provides me with much pride but more than that it provides me with humility.  When you least expect it God will give you the chance to grow in humility.  My children have given me so many opportunities I can't even share them all with you.  Some of them I would like to forget and some of them are now etched in my memory and bring a chuckle or  smile to my face.  Seeming such a big deal  at the time and now just a distant memory....

Several years ago I did a book club.  The book we read, The Mom You're Meant to Be, Loving your Kids while leaning on God by Cheri Fuller, is still one of my favorites to reference.  My favorite quote from the book:

"So you won't think I'm writing this book because I believe I have "arrived" as a mom, let me share the three prayers most often in my heart when my children were growing up.  Since no one except God is the perfect parent, I often prayed Lord, please fill in the gaps between the love my kids needed today and didn't get from me, even though I was loving them the best I could.  My second prayer was Jesus, redeem my mistakes.  Believe me, I made plenty of them, but I was encourage that God could use even my blunders to draw my children to Himself.  And finally, Lord, help our marriage, but let it begin with me".

So here is how Mother of the Year works....We would call and say that I am the "mother of the year" of course dripping with sarcasm and share our story....Sometimes just saying it out loud and have an empathetic and nonjudgmental ear would save the day.  A response that only another Mom would understand.

To give you an idea of what I mean I will share this story.  My son, Matthew, is a hockey nut.  He eats, sleeps, and dreams hockey.  (Actually we are a hockey family so he gets it honest)  Mike and Matthew got some tickets to some Caps games and Matthew saw all the "signs" that people hold up at the games.  I should also remind you that my children all go to a Catholic School.

 It seems Matthew was using his free time in art to make these signs for the next game...Can you guess who the Caps were playing?  Can you say.......Mother of the Year?
 












 













Mothering is so very hard and I think we all need to lighten up on ourselves and each other a little bit.  There are a few exceptions to this but most Moms I know love their children and want what is best for them.  BUT we are imperfect souls so we are going to mess up....Forgive yourselves (or your children) and move on.

I hope that you have a sister or friend who validates you or helps you through those tough times....If not feel free to comment or email me....I will listen.  
                                                                       

Sunday, July 4, 2010

Health Update-Day 19 of IV Treatment

Well, I know that so many of you have been praying for me and following my story  and I will attempt to give a brief update.  I have completed day 19 of 28 days of antibiotic treatments through a picc line in my arm.  I had really started feeling better.  I was outside some and feeling more like myself.  I went to the Dr. for a followup this week and all was going well.   I had a nurse visit Thursday and she took blood (which she always does) and after she left I laid down and slept for like 5 hours.  Woke up with low grade fever, aches and pains, and a new type of headache.  You know the one that comes with a fever.  So Friday the Dr. office and the nurse both called and were concerned because my blood work had come back and my white blood cell count was low.  I believe they said 2300.  Now the question is am I fighting a "normal" virus or am I having a reaction to the antibiotic.  They will recheck the blood Tuesday (long weekend, of course) and I am to rest, drink lots of fluids, and help my body fight the flu.  I woke up this morning about the same as yesterday and I will take it.  If it gets worse then I have to call the doctor. I am doing everything I am supposed to do because I do not want to end up in the hospital on 4th of July weekend.  Actually, I don't want to end up in the hospital at all.      This is the best I can explain it.  Hope that makes some sense.

Many have asked me what happens Tuesday?  What happens if it is the antibiotic?  Will you have to start over on another one?  What if?  What if?  Here is my answer.

Do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will take care of
itself. Let the day's own trouble be sufficient for the day.
—Matthew 6:34


As hard as it has been I have tried to take this one day at a time.  I don't know what will happen and truthfully I can't even go there in my head.  I know that I do not have the grace for that "problem" right now.  I was able to get enough strength last night to go with my family to sit at Freedom High and watch the Fireworks with Mike and the kids.  I am preparing myself for Tuesday when Mike has to go back to work.  I can't tell you how much I am going to miss having him here.  He has been such a steady constant for me in a time when so many things seem uncertain.  He is a very "structured" person and the kids have thrived having him home.  They needed his consistency.   In many ways for Mike and the kids this 3 week run has been a blessing.  

I wish I could share all of the blessings that have come my way this last week but please know this....God is in the details.  He has covered me and my family during this time in ways that I could never have imagined.  Thank you all for your continued prayers.  I know that they are making a difference.